French artist Mademoiselle Maurice who creates stunning geometric figures on urban surfaces using rainbows of folded origami figures. via
Smart & Wise
Ayesha....A simple mind buried in the deepest thoughts. A bright girl with the biggest of dreams. Pacing through life as it come.
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[Day 168] Why is he called Bill?
The long awaited lay in! Finally got it today. A nice long sleep as the sun beamed through my window to warm my pillow. A gentle awaking as the light flooded my eyes until I was blinded and had no choice but to rise to the early afternoon.
I went out with my family today. My cousin, my aunty, and their friend with their son. Had the most amazing time.
I’ve become reserved lately. Not really mixing with new people. Just keeping to the old friends that know my story and my background. Today I tried to break those boundaries by interacting with new people. Usually when I would have heard that their friend was tagging along too I would ave made some lame excuse and not gone; but I did the complete opposite today. I just embraced it and went.
We drove into London. The park isn’t too far from us. Maybe just 40 odd minutes or so. The sunshine was still strong through the car windows. Windows down to let in the breeze and intelligent conversation passed between us.
The park was truly a beautiful sight today. The sun reflecting from every green surface and the water glistening. The hills and trees in every direction. The flowers that flared up my hay fever. The birds and squirrels as they roamed in freedom. The rush of people al out to catch a tan. The pleasant experience of being free. No worries, no fears. The great outdoors and me.
As for this kid that went along with us! He is he most intelligent 3 year old I have ever met! Asking why to each statement. Chasing the birds and squirrels between trees. The maturity in his words. The way he got lost in the park; remembered his mother’s words and found the closest female nearby to explain his dilemma. The innocence in his play. I guess I saw a reflection of my own childhood in him.
After the park we headed off to eat. A little restaurant located in East London. Not too far from the park too. All that walking had certainly built me up an appetite. We sat down and ate. Chicken tikka, rice, lamb curry, popadoms, samosas, naan bread, mint sauce, chicken jalfrezi and a selection of drinks lined the table. We all tucked in. YUM!
The big boy I got to spend my entire afternoon with <3
Stuffed as we were we sat and asked the waiter for the bill. Bless this little kid! May he live to achieve his dreams. He suddenly comes out with ‘Why is that man called Bill?’ Awwwww! We tried so hard to explain; but I guess even the most intelligent of people fail to realise the small things in life.
Today was a great day and another day to the beach with these guys has already been planned. Bring on next week!
Nothing is more powerful than prayer
To lift ones’ hands in front of his creator. To repent and seek desires. To ask for guidance in a complex course. The courage to be put upon the correct path. Nothing can ever compete with it’s power.
[Day 167] Why me?
I have tried to contemplate today why this has all happened to me? Why so early? I guess it’s time to really move on. I’ve said it so many times before but it truly is time now to realise what I want for my future. Maybe what I need to do isn’t what I want; but for now I need to find some peace of mind.
I guess I need to just relax and take things slow. No rash decisions; I could take the wrong one. Keeping myself busy isn’t really working. The moment I get a minute to myself the tears begin to flow. I’ll admit it to you, everyday; but I really don’t know where this leaves us.
Old habits will kick in fast and once again we’ll be falling as we did. Lost in each other; pushing the rest of the world out. Is it just me who thinks that this world in unfair? I’ve tried to comprehend. trying to figure this out. trying my level best to let go. It’s not happening.
[Day 166] Flowing thoughts
I’m just going to let my thoughts flow here. No prevention. Today everything shall be written.
My first day off and everything is going well. Trying to keep myself busy as to make the most of the 2 weeks ahead. Started off with an unpleasant wake-up call at 8am. Bakery training. I enjoyed that a lot. Getting to meet new people and learning all the techniques of baking. Should hopefully start working there next week.
For some reason I’ve been looking forward to Jummah prayers all day. So much so that I had to keep myself busy as not to read it early. Dishes washed. Clothes washed. Cooking done. Shopping done. House tidying done.
I know why I’m keeping myself busy. It’s to keep my mind of things. To keep my mind of him. That didn’t become apparent until tonight. Whatever bend this path takes… I shall follow and say Alhumdulillah; but it’s taking more strength than I have.
There’s a reason I remove myself from a room where his name is being mentioned. There’s more of a reason that I think about him all day. Even more so that I sit and cry alone in the memories we shared.
I’m being stubborn. I don’t want to take the first step. I don’t want to be rejected because that’s my worst fear. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction he has been dying to give. The satisfaction of knowing that I miss him too.
